Change…

So much change has changed in my life over the last 3 1/2 years.  Especially in the last year.  I’ve had some really awesome things happen to me, although it’s not been an easy process.  Growth is often times a painful process.  A good friend called me on something today, lol.  I HAVE to laugh about it, even though it’s serious because I probably wouldn’t have listened to anyone about it EXCEPT for this person.  I’m sure the Lord put this person in my life to help me along this path because I prefer to learn the hard way by doing it MY way, not His way.  (I must prefer it, because that’s how I do it)  This person I do listen to.  Darnitall.  So here’s an area (one of a million) that I still need to work on:  Contrary to this blog which has so far been serious and not at all funny… I’m a funny person.  I have a great sense of humor and keep people laughing all.the.time. … So this week, Weinergate broke.  The U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner accidentally posted a picture of his “junk” on Twitter.  And mind you, a lot of what I joke about are current events in the media!  And here is this guy named Weiner that posted a pic of his weiner!!!  Every news channel is talking about Weiner, and every time I hear his name I am crying tears of laughter!!!  What are the chances that a guy named Weiner would get caught up in the news about his weiner?!  The temptation was too great and so the weiner jokes were flying…  And they were funny!!!  And they were on my Facebook.  That my kids see.  And several Pastors from my church.  And my mother.  And my nieces and nephews.  And over 1500 other people.  Was it funny?  YES!!!  Was it appropriate to post on my Facebook for the world to see?  NO!!!  Ummm… so yeah… here I am.  A work in progress.  The Lord is still molding me and changing me into what he wants me to be.  I step out of line, and get pushed right back where I need to be, lol.  Ouch!  My entire life I have been a cusser.  My older brother taught me to say “stupid ass” when I was 3 years old, and try as she might, my mother could never break me of that word.  She even washed my mouth out with soap.  Nothing worked.  As I got older, my vocabulary increased as did my derogatory list of adjectives I used on a daily basis.  I probably dropped the F bomb about 30 times a day in casual conversation.  I tried to quit cussing because it’s such an ugly habit, but I couldn’t stop myself.  March 23rd 2008 I was saved and became a born again Christian.  I’ll never forget that very next day the first time I dropped an F bomb…  I stopped mid-sentence… I could not believe I just heard myself say that!  (See?  Sometimes I catch myself and don’t need someone to remind me!)  I made up my mind that THIS time, I would really stop saying those words.  And I did.  It is still a constant battle 3 1/2 years later because when I’m really mad, sometimes I let those words slip out.  I hate that, but I keep trying and I stop swearing all over again.  Here’s the great thing.  I KNOW for a fact that God loves me.  As a Christian I strive to be Christ-like.  Every day.  Before I even get up in the morning, I know that God knows I will fall short today.  I do every day.  No one is perfect, we ALL fall short every day.  But at the end of the day, I know that despite the fact that I fell short of my Christ-like goal… God still loves me the same.  Every day.  He loves me.  Knowing that I will fall short doesn’t give me the right to wake up and say “well, I know I’m going to mess something up today, so I may as well make it a good one” and proceed to make huge bad choices all day long.  But being a Christian has made me conscious of the choices I face all day long, and has made my choices much better then they were in the past.  But they aren’t all the right choices.  So I deleted the weiner post, as it wasn’t one of my better choices.  Day by day, bit by bit, I’m changing.

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Cholesterol… who needs it?

I have high cholesterol.  Very very high cholesterol.  Who cares, right?  I’m young, so why should I worry about that?  I said that to myself for many years.  My cholesterol kept creeping higher and higher… when I had it checked in September 2010, it was 289.  And that’s just my bad cholesterol, not my combined cholesterol.  My sister asked me if I was eating a bucket of lard every day.  No, but I may as well have been.  So, all those years I wasn’t worried at all because I was “young”.  Then my brother dies suddenly of a heart attack at 50 years old.  My other brother had a stroke at 50 years old.  I don’t know about everyone else, but could the years possibly creep by any quicker?!  Before you know it, I will be 50 years old.  Not for a while, but still… I’m headed that way.  I have a new doctor and this guy is really terrific.  He’s the only doctor I’ve ever seen that actually spent alot of time with me going over my chart actually reading what I wrote and digging into my family health history.  Me, ever the joker… when I was filling out the forms I came across a question that said “are you satisfied with your sex life?” and I wrote NO!!!  You know, because I don’t have a husband in my life there is no sex life.  I thought it was funny, and I also didn’t think he was going to actually read it… so now, here he is pouring over every word and I’m beginning to squirm wondering if he’s going to ask me about my sex life.  He did not… whew!!  But what he did notice was the death and illnesses in my family.  He had a blood panel done and I came back for the results and he started me on cholesterol meds right away.  He said he wanted to hit hard with these meds and started me on a higher dose and had me take Crestor of which there is no generic but he said this one and Lipitor work the best.  Now I’m taking Crestor and it has brought my bad cholesterol down to 150.  It needs to be lower, but I’m at least in the higher end of a normal range.  Crestor makes my muscles achey.  I even try to leave my big heavy purse I love at home and take a wallet because holding my purse on my arm makes my arm ache.  On top of the Crestor, I started running.  Since early December I’ve been running 5 days a week.  Only 3 miles, not that far, but excercize makes your good cholesterol higher which is better.  I started to actually look at what foods have cholesterol in it, and how I can control this better through diet.  Basically cholesterol is in any food that comes from an animal.  Some foods are worse then others.  I have learned that there are some foods that I just can’t eat anymore.  It’s not like a diet where you lose weight and then sneak french fries once in a while.  There are specific foods that I just can’t eat ever again.  That’s just reality.  If I sneak and have them once in a while, before you know it they will be back in my diet because they happen to be the foods that I have always loved the most.  So, out of everything I used to eat, this is what I can’t eat anymore.

Bacon, sausage, pepperoni, cheese, milk, eggs, yogurt, sour cream, mayonaisse… need I go on here?

This is what was in my diet that I LOVED and can no longer eat.  Is it difficult?  Yes.  I have been praying that God will eliminate my craving for these foods.  That when I see, smell or am offered these foods that I will be able to think “YUCK!”  and not eat it or even want it.  I want to have balsamic vinagrette on my salad and not sit there wishing it was ranch.  PLEASE, Lord!!!  I went vegan for one week.  I wish I could do it permanently, but I’m a carnivore.  I love meat too much.  It did turn me on to many foods that I have incorporated into my diet which help.  My goal is to get my cholesterol low enough that I won’t have to depend on these meds any longer.  I have to have the support of my friends and family.  These are the people I eat with!  So please… don’t push me to eat stuff I can’t.  Don’t get upset if you made something I can’t eat.  This is a new way of life for me, and you have to accept me for who I am.  I was walking one day with a very good friend of mine and explaining this whole cholesterol diet thing and she offered me some really great words of wisdom.  She said “you don’t have to explain anything to anyone.  If someone offers you something you can’t have, you just say no thank you.”  It was freeing hearing that.  It’s that simple… no thank you.

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Guess what I did last weekend?

I had been planning to do this for some time with my sister.  So, I finally got around to doing it last weekend… I knew I wanted a scripture, but out of 31,103 verses, which one should I choose?  My favorites change all the time as I learn and grow and something new grabs me.  There is one in particular that speaks to me and something I know I have to remember when I’m going through storms in my life. Paul says in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” He says this while chained and in prison. He doesn’t say that he has the ability to do absolutely anything he wants to do. He doesn’t say that God has given him full authority to decide what should and shouldn’t be done. He doesn’t say that he can do all things when the circumstances are right. What Paul is telling us is that, I can do, and God will enable me to do. I can work and God will enable me to work. I can speak and God will enable me to speak. Whatever God led him to do, Paul knew that God would also empower him to do it. I can do every single thing I need to do today, as long as it’s in the will of God, and I can do it through the strength of Jesus Christ who is the one residing within me. My favorite chapter in the bible (right now) is Acts.  The start of the Christian church… Pentecost… the Disciples were empowered with the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit was made available to all who believed in Jesus… and the life of Paul.  God transformed him from a persecutor of Christians to a crusader for Christ.  You will never know all God can do for you until you give God all of you.

So, what did you do last weekend?

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